angus and julia stone – The Runaway Girl

Yellow Brick Road

November 8, 2017

Last night was an ethereal experience.

A smokey haze blanketed the air, the stage was drenched in blue, red and purple light. A large totem pole stood in the centre of the stage lighting up with the music, behind it, a projection of rolling waves and forests, wolves and clouds moving in time with the dreamy sounds. Banjo, trumpet and harmonica solos filled the room, a mystified crowd vibing with the music. In an earlier post I talked about how my New Year’s resolution was to see snow, and although not in the original form I thought it would be – here it is!! During the final song, a blanket of snow confetti came raining down onto the stage.

I was especially stoked when Angus and Julia played my favourite of their songs last night, ”Yellow Brick Road”. In many ways London has been my very own yellow brick road. Without trying to sound like a reality TV contestant, it really has been one hell of a journey with lots of ups and downs and unexpected turns. I’ve learnt to expect the unexpected and embrace everything that comes my way, one day at a time.

I do so many different things now that I am living over here and transcend my comfort zone daily. It can feel overwhelming sometimes but also totally liberating. Yesterday I interviewed the former Deputy Prime Minister of Turkey and current Minister of Tourism and Culture at the World Travel Market in London on behalf of Travel Channel. I then went straight to the O2 Academy Brixton to watch Angus and Julia Stone perform. I’m constantly on the go here, there is so much to see and do and I just want to experience it all.

I think I always knew that this concert was going to mark a turning point for me and my journey here. In fact, this is the first concert I’ve been to solo which was such a freeing experience and I can’t recommend it enough! Don’t wait for anyone else, just do it. I like to think everything happens for a reason, and in my mind this event signified for me new beginnings, independency and positivity.

Their songs about friendship, love and heartbreak resonate with me a lot. Everyone is fighting their own battles and trying to navigate difficult situations that crop up in our lives from time to time. But it is entirely how we choose to deal with and react to those situations that challenge us which matters at the end of the day and allows our inner strengths to shine through.

This same day, Tom booked his flight back home to New Zealand.

I’ve had this feeling for a while that his heart wasn’t completely set on London. We’ve talked about it so much and gone over and over our worries and concerns but now that he’s actually booked it, I guess that just makes it a lot more real now. This person that I have spent the last four years of my life exploring with is now leaving and I feel vulnerable. I don’t know how to feel or how to process any of it. I like to pride myself on being independent and strong, so it’s hard to admit to myself how hard this is going to be.

When you’re in a situation like this you have to weigh up what is more important to you, what you want to prioritise. Do you lead with your emotions or do you take a logical utilitarian approach and make decisions based on what will bring about the most happiness to all involved? The problem is there is no obvious right or wrong answer to any of these questions and no amount of advice from any friend or family member can make it any less difficult.

I am so grateful and happy that Tom came over here with an open mind and gave London a chance. We tried our best to make it work and while it didn’t quite work out the way we thought it would, I don’t think it’s a failure, more it just wasn’t meant to be. This experience has shaped us in many ways and I don’t regret a single thing. I have had some of the best times of my life over here with him and our friends over here. He’s taught me so much about myself and constantly reminds me to find joy in the little things. Together we have travelled through foreign lands and explored new cities and cultures. We’ve made memories that we will remember forever.

On Friday night we’re meeting up with some friends in Chinatown to have dinner and marvel at the Oxford Street Christmas lights which have just been turned on. Life’s too short to get down about situations like these. You need to remember to embrace the moment and make the most of any situation.

At the end of the day, whatever will be, will be.

Everyone is following their own Yellow Brick Road and we all have to make difficult decisions along the way that challenge us and have consequences. But at the end of all of it, we have to believe it will lead to good things.

Snow

September 19, 2017

“I’ll sweep you off your feet and you will fall apart,” murmurs Julia “Sweep you off the floor, oh God, you’re drunk again,” counters Angus.

This week my favourite band, Aussie brother sister duo Angus and Julia Stone released their new album ‘Snow’. The album is a beautiful mix of dreamy indie melodies and soft acoustic rock tones.

I’ve had their album on repeat all week at work. It’s helped me keep sane and grounded during some of my toughest days overseas to date.

To make things even better… they’re coming to London in November and playing at the O2 Academy in Brixton – not far from my flat! So I may or may not have just bought a ticket and currently FIZZING with excitement.

What is peculiar is that my new year’s resolution this year was “to see snow” and although it may not be in the form I first expected….maybe this is it?! Ever feel like you are exactly where you are supposed to be at a particular point in time?

This year has been full of ups and downs and this will be the first concert I have ever attended alone. In a way I feel like this experience will be quite cathartic for me – a time for reflection. I can relate to a lot of the Stone’s songs and they’re presented in such a raw, magical way it’s hard not to involve yourself in their melodies. That might be the hippiest thing that has ever come out of my mouth but I couldn’t be more damn excited.

Over the past few weeks, the mornings have become foggier, my coat is being brought out of the closet more often than not – Winter is definitely coming! Being away over the great Kiwi summer will be hard but I’m also looking forward to having my very first winter birthday and Christmas because I’ve never had either before so that will be a whole new experience. I also can’t wait to see Winter Wonderland come alive in Hyde Park this year – complete with mulled wine, German bratwurst, fairy lights and magic!

And now for your monthly Streatham Hill update… I was recently yelled at by an elderly African lady with bleach blonde hair on my way to the train station…that was interesting. Then there’s the guy on his bike that was singing “Land Downunder” with a basket full of beanie babies attached to the front. There’s been multiple early morning screaming matches from the couple next door we share a lounge wall with…and Wig man has a new wig! I swear you can’t make this stuff up.

I’ve been making an effort to spend more time in nature lately. I visited a farm out in East London in a place called Mudchute over the weekend and spent the day feeding the goats, sheep and pigs. The cows weren’t interested in the food I had to offer but they did want pats, to which I was happy to oblige. It was quite surreal being at a farm in the middle of London with a view of the Shard in the distance. It felt great to swap skyscrapers and crowds for nature, space and animals.

I ventured out to Crystal Palace on Sunday and walked around the park there, observing curious squirrels and strange statues of dinosaur interpretations from the 1800s. London is full of weird and wonderful surprises, sometimes it just takes a little digging to uncover it’s hidden gems.

This week I’ve learnt that it’s important to find joy in the little things and spend less time stressing over the things we have little control over.

Lyrics lyrics lyrics

August 21, 2017

When I was a teenager I would frequently post song lyrics as my Facebook status.

Looking back now I cringe so fucking much just thinking about it. I also wrote some of my own horribly pathetic, self indulgent lyrics about teenage love and angst, but those are locked away in the depths of under my bed, scribbles in notebooks.. you’d have to pull back some serious cobwebs and fight me to get your hands on those.

At the time, my random Facebook lyric postings represented the kind of music I was listening to, trying to define my identity with and I’ll admit they were also subliminal messages mostly aimed toward boys I was crushing on at the time. Nirvana, The Killers, John Mayer, Neil Young, Paramore, Angus and Julia Stone, you name it, I quoted it. As much as it makes me want to crawl up inside and die reading over them now, they also make me laugh because I really haven’t changed a bit.

Music is magic. It allows you to express yourself in a way words and pictures cannot. Music transcends generations and genres, rules and regulation. Music is empowerment and freedom, it’s chaos and beauty.

I love going through youtube comment threads on songs. As well as bragging about how high they are, people love to make deep connections between song lyrics and use them to reflect on their own personal situations. Lyrics and music make people feel and imagine. It can transport people across time and space to happier times and imaginary places.

I’m listening to Tame Impala at the moment, an Australian psychedelic rock band. Their music reminds me a bit of The Beatles, with a dash of acid. One Youtube poster mused that Tame Impala is actually John Lennon’s new psychedelic side-project. He faked his death in order to work on the album and the band is just a front – I wouldn’t be at all surprised to be honest. If you’re into psychedelic rock, give them a listen!

Self indulgent lyrics appeal to the inner 16 year old inside of me. When you finish school, you’re sort of just thrust into adulthood and people expect you to grow up suddenly and mould your life into a 9 to 5 routine. Well that will never be me, I refuse to conform and I refuse to grow up. Embrace the inner child. Music makes me want to run outside in the rain, and feel it running through my finger tips and toes. It makes me lust after love, crave chaos and inspires me to embark on spontaneous adventure.

I don’t post lyrics on Facebook anymore. I keep those songs and the meanings they bring to my life, to myself. Music is a personal connection left up to the listener’s interpretation. But I’ll leave these here… just as a little nod to 16 year old me…

and there’s gold falling from the ceiling of this world
falling from the heartbeat of this girl
falling from the things we should have learned
falling from the things we could have heard

Angus and Julia Stone – ‘’And The Boys”

Jess x

Life is Strange

August 19, 2017

Today has been an odd sort of day.

I discovered new music from the American indie pop band Snowine, that gives me all the feels. I probably haven’t felt this way since I discovered Australian brother/sister duo Angus and Julia Stone. It feels like christmas.

Snowmine’s single ‘Let Me In’ shoots tingles up my spine. It reminds me of the kind of music featured in the game ‘Life Is Strange’. Have you played it before? You should. I am telling you now. It will change you. It will make you smile and cry and make you feel in ways you never thought a game could possibly make you feel. The prologue to this story is coming out on August 31st and I think I could cry. I can’t wait to feel those things again. Things only dreams and music and christmas and mum’s cooking can make you feel.

Anyway, this song “Let Me In” feels like it has come to me at just the right time I needed it. It takes me back to being 16 years old again. Confused as fuck about everything in life. Awkward high school love, fickle friends, spontaneous adventures, basically doing whatever it is you want to do. The fire of youth.

Today marks 1 year since my Grandad passed away. I was in London staying with my cousin at this time last year and now I’m back. I can’t believe a whole year has passed since I last saw him. It’s weird when someone close to you passes away. You go to their house and expect to see them there. But they aren’t there and never will be again. It’s a hard thought for your mind to process. I’m not sure if grief ever really disappears, rather it just gets buried in the back of your mind and certain places, smells and feelings bring it raging straight back to the surface, prickling behind your eye sockets.

The last day I saw my Grandad was by chance on the day before I left for England. I woke up that morning to a phone call from St John ambulance. They were calling me to let me know my Grandad’s medic alarm had been set off but they wouldn’t tell me his current condition because my name wasn’t listed on his file. I cursed St John, jumped in my car and sped over to their house straight away in tears, fearing the worst.

When I got to my Grandparents’ house, there he was sitting on the couch looking pretty perky with a nurse tending to him and my Grandma standing nearby. It turns out he had had a small fall. Grandma was surprised to see me, it wasn’t as serious as St John had lead me to believe. She was supposed to be meeting her friend at the mall that morning but was going to cancel and stay and look after Grandad instead. I told her to go and I would look after him.

Grandad and I spent a few hours together that day. He questioned the rips in my jeans, told me to make a cup of tea for myself and we spoke briefly about my upcoming overseas trip. He sat on the couch napping and we just spent time in one another’s presence for the next few hours which was nice. That was the last day I saw him.

Mum told me she rang my Grandma today to see how she was. She said she seemed confused and told mum “I’ve left the front door open for Dad… I’m not sure where he’s gone”. I feel like when my Grandad passed away a year ago a little bit of my Grandma died as well…in some ways it feels like I lost both Grandparents that day. I can’t imagine what it must be like to lose your life partner. I love my Grandma to bits and make an effort to ring her, take her out places and now that I’m overseas I send her cards. But hearing that today made me immeasurably sad and miss home even more.

It’s been a weird sort of day.

In fact, it’s been a weird time in general for me. The uncertainty, sadness and loneliness that I have felt in the past few weeks have made me question everything. Sometimes I wonder if I am susceptible to depression. I feel like a lot of creative minds are. Maybe it’s because we overthink everything and have such overactive minds. Sometimes I dream about what it would be like to not have such a busy mind. But what fun would that be?

My favourite band Angus and Julia Stone are coming to London in November and playing at the O2. I need to buy tickets as soon as I have some money – I spent my last pounds on a flat deposit today! I am officially broke but Tom and I finally found a flat we love in London and were offered it today. We will be staying South of London in the up and coming suburb of Streatham Hill. It’s a quirky flat, bare wooden floorboards, lots of natural light. We are staying with a British guy and a couple from New Zealand who have a camper van called Ferg that they travel around England in. Their room is covered in mandala tapestries and dreamcatchers – i think we are going to get along.

There is a little glimmer of light and I’m feeling good and positive and already thinking about what colour duvet cover I’m going to buy for my new nest.

Thank you life for beautiful grandparents that are so great and make such an impact on your life that you can miss them 365 days of the year for the rest of your life. Thank you creative people for beautiful music and games that remind you to feel and thank you for the opportunities that life throws at you that can make life seem a little brighter in times of darkness.

Jess x